the balcony-incident: one year anniversary

blessings come in strange disguises, sometimes.

it's been a year since that fateful day, a day i like to call "the Balcony Incident." the day that i lost my spleen and my right kidney, broke all of my ribs, my femur, my hip and bone fragments from my spine. the day that my stomach swelled with so much blood that i looked like an eight-month-pregnant woman.

the day i fell 17 feet off my (once) apartment's balcony.

i treat the Incident and the resulting injuries with humor, most of the time. i'm aware that it is a coping mechanism, but eh, what can you do? 

this blog post isn't about humor or coping mechanisms, however. this blog post is about truth and gratefulness and blessings. 

the Incident is one of the biggest blessings i've ever received.

before that day, i was attempting to recover from my eating disorder. i was barely scraping the surface of my anxiety and depression. i was surviving.

that is, until i wasn't. 

when i hit the ground, i began a race against the clock. i'm not much good at races, but i managed to win this one. the doctors said if i had gotten to the hospital twenty minutes later, i would be dead.

near death experiences do something to a person's soul.

i never really believed in a higher power before. a childhood in the fundamental free will baptist church had me scared of the after life, scared of a God i felt i could never satisfy, so i chose to turn my back. but after you survive something like that, you know there's something out there.

i felt that Spirit wrapped around me every day i was in the hospital. from the moments i woke up in the ICU, alone and scared, to each painful deep breath, to each wobbly step on my walker.

i couldn't have survived the experience alone.

but the Incident taught me something. it taught me about myself: my determination, my perseverance, my worth.

i know how much my family loves me. i know who my dearest friends. i know what i'm worth.

i'm recovered from my eating disorder. i'm on the cusp of being rid of depression and anxiety (for the most part). i'm walking and running and cherishing every part of myself. i'm living for myself and no one else.

i'm healed.

love and blessings,

rachel <3